nada

well, tomorrow night I sleep in my wonderful king bed with unfeelable springs. and all my schtuff that i CAN do without...but why?

i love these guys here, but i miss the guys there. where is my husband??? need to see....need to see. and kevo also, for he is an interesting guy to talk with, and fun, too.

went to the seattle temple wednesday. did 10 initiatories and 2 endowment sessions. i died yesterday, but i am glad i got to go.

i am packing today. funny how spread out things got. kerry and braden will be happy to have their apt. back, though they will miss the free help.

here i am, love me

i thought that it's been awhile since i posted, so here i am. busy day today, appt. for jenna and kerry. kerry is still feeling poorly, although better than before, and using lots of pain meds still, so she is getting checked out. her resident is unavailable (watch us cry) so we see a family nurse practitioner. yea!! oh, then kerry started throwing up last night. will the trials never cease for this girl??? oh, and a list of errands if peeps are feeling ok.

i have started into a flare. at church, i had a definite inspiration that it was because my prayer, and the blessing braden gave me said that i would be able to do what i planned in helping kerry, and now that she and braden are taking care of jenna more, the blessing is over. i mean, yeah, i would rather feel well (as opposed to good) all the time, but if not, than at least i was able to help during the worst times. this makes me even more anxious for my own bed and lifeworks for swimming (to help with pain). it really is time for me to go home.

So, the above pictures, stolen from braden's comp are of jenna's first two sundays, where grandma got to play dress up with the baby doll. she looks so much more alert in the second photo. the last one, which i can't get to turn around, so you have to turn YOUR head is a day or so after delivery, with the picture of MY mom, so a 4 generation photo.

I am babysitting at the moment. everyone is asleep, which is the way i like them to be when i am in charge. we had to change formula for jenna as she was projectile vomiting and constipated. i am not sure i have seen a constipated baby before, but they were formed little poops, which looked too hard for a baby. now she just poops every 2 days, but a blowout. you should have seen kerry and braden's face the first time. that was when jenna got her second bath. hehe.

Kevo is going to his (girl)friends prom in may. he doesn't care, but she wants to go. it will be his first prom and afterprom, since he didn't go to his.

Ry gets to walk in graduation in may, so we will be going up to VT for that. dad and i may take a getaway vacation then, either to Maine or Montreal, leaving kev with ryan for a few days, probably before the graduation. Ryan has a summer internship with burlington, maybe keeping him on part time while he takes his last 2-3 classes in the fall. he interviewed for a "real" job with them in december after he graduates. no word on that yet. probably they want to see how he does for them this summer, etc. I blog this because he hasn't.

oh, a baby calls.

love you all, especially all grandchildren. i need to get to madeira...i haven't seen them since november. bye bye

ok, carolyn, you asked for it

The baby is no longer jaundiced. she eats well , and the other end is now going well too. for a while, she didn't latch on, and didn't eat enough to pee. her sleepy time is late afternoon. she is cute. well, really. the lactation consultant was here for a second visit, and baby is 6# 7 oz, after a low last thursday of 6# 1.4 oz.

Kerry is not doing so well. she and braden are at the dr.'s office now, after numerous phone calls all weekend to the docs on call. I believe she has a hematoma. she is in much pain which narcotics and ibuprofen aren't masking. she is now running a fever, also, and hurts everywhere. and possible mastitis, too. i told her that her health was more important than the breastfeeding. she has been pumping for days since it is too painful to try to get J. to feed. Support for whatever decision she makes is appreciated. Poor kerry. it is so hard as a mother to see my daughter in such distress. and i have a hard time managing the mother vs. midwife role. i don't want to be taking over, but where exactly is the line?

but may i rant about residents?!? i am so angry about her delivery, and partly blame myself for the mother/midwife thing. I realize that students need to learn, after all, i was a student once myself. but if you are a third year resident, one would think you would know enough about deliveries to manage a 6-7 pound baby. perineal support is critical, esp. if you insist that she deliver in a position that is guaranteed to increase risk of tearing. So, her hands were there, but who can tell how much support was given until after, when it is obvious that you didn't do your job!!! I left her delivery shouting silently, "THIS is why i became a midwife!....THIS is why i became a midwife." I don't think i could ever work in labor and delivery again, where i am not in charge of the labor and delivery. my poor daughter is paying the price for being "poor", and not having the "correct" insurance that would let her choose quality care instead of whichever resident. whooooo, steam is rising from my head, i better quit this subject. but i must say that most midwives take state insurance.

by the way, if you want to call here, call my cell. i only turn it on when awake, and it won't wake anyone if they are sleeping (and i get it fast enough). that way, if they are awake, maybe you could talk. i won't be offended if the reason you call my cell is to talk to them. don't call their cells though...they never turn them off.

Musings

While i know that kerry's blog states "still no bebe", i must beg to differ. This house, apt, is all about one bebe. Funny, no one has been watching any dvd's lately...except maybe i watched some 24 episodes. Braden only got in one attempt at WII golf. these are all great differences. When the baby goes down, everyone goes down, except me, who insists on sleeping all night. After all, grandmothers must have some rights.

I TOLD them that having the baby in their room all the time would keep them up all night, and day, but now, they finally believe me. all those snorts and sighs and gasps that wake one up so that they must check the baby to see that she is still breathing, not choking, and all A-OK. It is am now, and i have baby duty in the living/dining room. hopefully there is sleepage in the bedroom. i also have je..... in front of the sliding doors, as we actually have a bit of sunshine today instead of rain, and she is a bit jaundiced.

I went to costco and, buying the cheapest, bought huggies wipes in the 800 or so wipes size. these were cheaper and also had a coupon which i didn't know about at the register. However, they have all these "soothing" herbal crap stuff in them. they could gag a maggot BEFORE you clean up the poopies. Braden said, yeah, and we'll be using this many for like a year or more. i just laughed, saying, no, not a year. funny how wipes get used, right madeira-ites??

I wish ryan would blog all his good news.

i bought myself a wedding ring for my birthday. Now i can find the old one. it was just a cheap one from target, but i wanted one for until i found the other.

love you'uns.

i know you are all reading with bated breath

It is hard when you don't have your own computer to blog with. oh, i can connect with mine on their network, but i then remember that i have no virus software, and it makes me nervous.

Well, i strained my back on sunday...no conference for me. we went to er which was not busy, thank goodness. got some great prescriptions which i am off now, but still have if i relapse when kerry is in labor. also, the relief society pres and her hub brought over a twin bed and frame, so now i am off the ground. i am convinced that that was a major contributing factor, trying to get up from the floor several times a night plus in the am. i thought i would bring one of their shelves down, but luckily, they are so loaded, they didn't tip over.

today kerry goes to the doctor. she was hoping to miss it. she had contractions last night about every 20-30 minutes, so i went to bed. (when in doubt, sleep). seriously, i figured at that rate she would need me about 5 or6 am and i thought i'd rest up till then. she went to bed, and despite having contractions all night about 5-7 min, slept through most of them. kevin told her she was overdue and racking up dollar a day fines. not too much this am, it is quarter to 2 now. i think she and braden will be walking alot this weekend. unless jenna gets with the program.

i am reminded how unpleasant it is to live in an apartment. hopefully, if dad and i have to downsize, it will still be a separate space from other noisy people. and noisy washers, dryers, dishwashers, and waterfall toilet flushes.

Hey, i love you guys. happy b-day dan pretty soon.