ok, carolyn, you asked for it

The baby is no longer jaundiced. she eats well , and the other end is now going well too. for a while, she didn't latch on, and didn't eat enough to pee. her sleepy time is late afternoon. she is cute. well, really. the lactation consultant was here for a second visit, and baby is 6# 7 oz, after a low last thursday of 6# 1.4 oz.

Kerry is not doing so well. she and braden are at the dr.'s office now, after numerous phone calls all weekend to the docs on call. I believe she has a hematoma. she is in much pain which narcotics and ibuprofen aren't masking. she is now running a fever, also, and hurts everywhere. and possible mastitis, too. i told her that her health was more important than the breastfeeding. she has been pumping for days since it is too painful to try to get J. to feed. Support for whatever decision she makes is appreciated. Poor kerry. it is so hard as a mother to see my daughter in such distress. and i have a hard time managing the mother vs. midwife role. i don't want to be taking over, but where exactly is the line?

but may i rant about residents?!? i am so angry about her delivery, and partly blame myself for the mother/midwife thing. I realize that students need to learn, after all, i was a student once myself. but if you are a third year resident, one would think you would know enough about deliveries to manage a 6-7 pound baby. perineal support is critical, esp. if you insist that she deliver in a position that is guaranteed to increase risk of tearing. So, her hands were there, but who can tell how much support was given until after, when it is obvious that you didn't do your job!!! I left her delivery shouting silently, "THIS is why i became a midwife!....THIS is why i became a midwife." I don't think i could ever work in labor and delivery again, where i am not in charge of the labor and delivery. my poor daughter is paying the price for being "poor", and not having the "correct" insurance that would let her choose quality care instead of whichever resident. whooooo, steam is rising from my head, i better quit this subject. but i must say that most midwives take state insurance.

by the way, if you want to call here, call my cell. i only turn it on when awake, and it won't wake anyone if they are sleeping (and i get it fast enough). that way, if they are awake, maybe you could talk. i won't be offended if the reason you call my cell is to talk to them. don't call their cells though...they never turn them off.