sorry

I know I haven't been blogging lately, and I am sorry. I love reading all your blogs so much, it seems hypocritical to not maintain mine.

For the first winter in many years (maybe 5) that I have needed my lights for SAD (seasonal affective disorder). I have not been happy, and I have not been sleeping. I know that Carolyn and Kerry have been not sleeping more. But I am OLD OLD OLD. Either I can't get to sleep...sometimes all night till 6 am, or else I wake up every freaking hour. I am tired and my body can't take it. Sometimes I resort to ambien after a few days of this because I simply MUST have some sleep. It usually helps for that night, but I find that sometimes it means that the next day without it is worse.

I started my lights yesterday and hope to see some improvement. It has gotten to where I am afraid to go to bed because I am afraid of not sleeping. Doesn't help, I know, but who said I was rational.

I have an appointment with a sleep specialist January 6th for the snoring stuff. Probably I will have another sleep study. I am almost wishing for sleep apnea because then there is a treatment. David won't even sleep with me because of the snoring. perhaps TMI, but it makes me sad (SAD) even more. I know he needs his sleep too, so I try to accept. Actually, it's fun to have a whole king bed to myself, but I miss him.