Friday, June 26, 2009

Airline/Airport/Airplane Ruminations

So the people watching was pretty fun traveling from Sacramento to Portland. These were the observations I made, in a stream of consciousness ala Holden Caufield, but without the swearing.

In the airport:
Wonder what the protocol is for where one sits while waiting. Usually, one tries to leave a seat between you and anyone else. Do you respect a piece of luggage or a purse guarding a seat?? Stay away from freaky looking peeps. Or ones who don't look like they've had a bath in a while. I thought all those peeps were at the greyhound station. What about eye contact?? Man, I feel sorry for the moms with a toddler who is tired of traveling all day and can't feel comforted. Maybe it's because I have been there before, but I don't get upset, I just feel sorry for them. I made eye contact and commiserated. Is the gray haired lady traveling with her 10 year old granddaughter or is she prematurely grey?

About the airline:
Yes, I got a good fare, but the threats of death and dismemberment if you have ANYTHING more than 2 pieces of carryon are old. I realize that sometimes people really abuse this, but c'mon already. Is the dayplanner a third item? How about the water I am carrying? The woman who is carrying a baby? does she have to send the kid to the cargo??

The airplane itself:
A 737. Didn't I hear once that these guys had problems?? Oh, well, too late now. God knows when I am gonna die so worrying about it won't help. Oh oh, looks pretty crowded. Normally people sit in the aisle seat or the window seat. Looks like we are going to have to use the middle seat. So, who looks like they won't take up 1 1/2 seats? Who looks non-scowly (yes, I made up that word)? Okay, here's a couple taking up the window and middle seats. She is all over him, so maybe I can have 2 armrests. Oh, and they look older than me. I wonder if they are newly married--her head on his shoulder, holding hands, other hand on upper inner thighs of the other person. Hmmm, she has a wedding ring but he doesn't. Maybe they are on their honeymoon. Maybe he doesn't believe in wedding rings? Some older guys don't. Oh WAIT!! Maybe she's married to someone else and this is a rendezvous with her LOVER!. Oooh, yuck. Well, if it gives me more seat, I can just ignore their goo-goo eyes.

Here comes a mom with a daughter and a small (say 2 month old) on her shoulder. Poor mommy. As she comes by me I notice that there is another baby IN THE BAG she's holding in front of her! Oh, wait, that's a doll. Pheeeww.

Look, the guy two rows ahead is wearing a redsox cap. Maybe he knows Ryan? No, that is just dumb. The sox have lots of fans. The two little redstockings on the back are cute.

I think this flight crew is tired. I have never heard the warning spiel so quickly done. I know not many people listen, but the words should be comprehensible.

The captain just made an announcement. Is it dad??? I can't even hear him. Hope it wasn't something I needed to know, like, say, THE PLANE IS CRASHING!! Repeatedly he makes announcements that I can't hear. He must be tired.

Who uses airplane bathrooms? Doesn't everybody watch their liquids and go in the airport just before getting on?? It's only a 90 minute flight. Well, most of them were men, for whom peeing at a hole in the plane is no different than peeing at the airport. Still, there were some women. Maybe the older woman needs to have the Detrol discussion with her dr? And I could understand if a woman was pregnant, or if someone had a bladder infection, or took a diuretic just before boarding (but who would do that?), or had high sugar.

That guy diagonal to me is drinking beer. He looks too young. Wonder if they card on airplanes. Sorry to stereotype, but Asians tend to look young for their age.

The 3 girls in the row opposite mine are discussing getting a master's degree. One really likes Ohio. But no one knows where Ohio is. It's in the midwest, I think. It goes Indiana, Illinois, Ohio, I think. Maybe Jenna can help them. Even with the napkins from the flight attendant with the states outlined on them doesn't help. And they wanted to go somewhere where they won't have to take the G.R.E.---Or did they actually say M.R.E.??

They are offering peanuts for a snack. Who does that anymore since the peanut dust carries all through the plane and so many people these days are allergic to peanuts. I mean, anaphylactilly allergic. I look in the seat back in front of me. I see a bag of peanuts and a bag of wheat thins. Wonder how long they have been there?? Last flight?? All flights today?? Last month? When they collect trash, I throw them out as my good deed for the day. When they are collecting trash, I see a kid up ahead give the flight attendant some origami. Makes me think of David. And Ryan.

When we are descending to Portland International, for some reason the pilot keeps rolling the plane like a new driver overcorrecting. I am getting seasick. I don't think I will look out the window anymore. It keeps up. I think I will just assume that there is a lot of turbulence rather than a new driver. Whoa, that was bad. Then comes the landing. Pretty rough.

Let's do this again in 9 days or so.

love to ya guys.

1 comment:

Ker said...

Love it, J.D. You're a natural!