An Ode to Carolyn

Don't worry, i have several other odes in mind. but i can't do them all at once.

I was reading a blog today about whether or not mormons really believe that the most important work they will do is within the walls of their own homes and the replies were to that and also to the worth of mothers staying at home vs. making a career choice outside of the home. Who matters more?? now, i say, unequivicably that some women have no choice. I respect and honor them. Having been a single mother, i know that it is a tough choice. hard as hades. not enough support. I have also worked while married at times to bring the income to a level that was sustainable by life. also hard, but not as. This is not disrespecting of anyone.

Luckily, Carolyn has a husband who makes enough money to enable her to stay at home (ode to follow later). In some ways then, it would sound like she has it made. But I know from first hand experience that stay-at-home moms have incredible challenges all their own.

Carolyn is an exceptional mother. She is better at this than I ever was, and I am not saying this because I am depressed about my efforts. I was okay. I have great kids, so I must have done some things right. This is about her.

I recently had the opportunity to share a few days in the M. household. While much louder than i am used to presently (mine were noisy at this stage also), i was so impressed by the order and discipline present. I never heard Carolyn raiase her voice, although I am sure that happens occasionally. All issues were handled firmly, but fairly. And there were many issues, as happens with 4 children. Those kids know that she loves them, but they also know that she means business when she disciplines. So much so that there were few time outs for the number of minor squabbles that always happen with kids.

I have been there other times when I have seen Carolyn running kids to and fro to preschool, parks, speech and occupational therapy, and piano lessons. This is not what is easy for her, but a recognizable sacrifice to make sure her kids have what they need. And she takes everyone, not expecting someone to always bail her out on childcare so she can do these things a little easier. I know that the kids will realize that the family is all for one and one for all.

I could go on and on about just the sacrifices for A. Having a child with asperger's is a challenge in and of itself. It adds layers of difficulty in loving and accepting and still striving for normalcy and disciplining and and and. The progress that A. has made is astounding. Yes, she gets the aid of an aide :) in school and preschool, and the therapy mentioned above, but I am confident that much of that would not have succeeded without the reinforcement and constant watchfulness of her parents. The making clear of what is expected with consistent reminders and consequences is astounding. Even the the sign on the bathroom towels: No poop on the towels. Use toilet paper to wipe.

I know that Carolyn has times when she shuts herself in her room to have a good cry. All mothers should be allowed time-outs too. But then, it's back to work raising fine children able to take their place in the world with a solid support behind them---and they all will know it.

I could go on, but i think i will stop now. Carolyn, I appreciate you and your neverending sacrifice and love for my son and my grandchildren. hang in there