nada

well, tomorrow night I sleep in my wonderful king bed with unfeelable springs. and all my schtuff that i CAN do without...but why?

i love these guys here, but i miss the guys there. where is my husband??? need to see....need to see. and kevo also, for he is an interesting guy to talk with, and fun, too.

went to the seattle temple wednesday. did 10 initiatories and 2 endowment sessions. i died yesterday, but i am glad i got to go.

i am packing today. funny how spread out things got. kerry and braden will be happy to have their apt. back, though they will miss the free help.

here i am, love me

i thought that it's been awhile since i posted, so here i am. busy day today, appt. for jenna and kerry. kerry is still feeling poorly, although better than before, and using lots of pain meds still, so she is getting checked out. her resident is unavailable (watch us cry) so we see a family nurse practitioner. yea!! oh, then kerry started throwing up last night. will the trials never cease for this girl??? oh, and a list of errands if peeps are feeling ok.

i have started into a flare. at church, i had a definite inspiration that it was because my prayer, and the blessing braden gave me said that i would be able to do what i planned in helping kerry, and now that she and braden are taking care of jenna more, the blessing is over. i mean, yeah, i would rather feel well (as opposed to good) all the time, but if not, than at least i was able to help during the worst times. this makes me even more anxious for my own bed and lifeworks for swimming (to help with pain). it really is time for me to go home.

So, the above pictures, stolen from braden's comp are of jenna's first two sundays, where grandma got to play dress up with the baby doll. she looks so much more alert in the second photo. the last one, which i can't get to turn around, so you have to turn YOUR head is a day or so after delivery, with the picture of MY mom, so a 4 generation photo.

I am babysitting at the moment. everyone is asleep, which is the way i like them to be when i am in charge. we had to change formula for jenna as she was projectile vomiting and constipated. i am not sure i have seen a constipated baby before, but they were formed little poops, which looked too hard for a baby. now she just poops every 2 days, but a blowout. you should have seen kerry and braden's face the first time. that was when jenna got her second bath. hehe.

Kevo is going to his (girl)friends prom in may. he doesn't care, but she wants to go. it will be his first prom and afterprom, since he didn't go to his.

Ry gets to walk in graduation in may, so we will be going up to VT for that. dad and i may take a getaway vacation then, either to Maine or Montreal, leaving kev with ryan for a few days, probably before the graduation. Ryan has a summer internship with burlington, maybe keeping him on part time while he takes his last 2-3 classes in the fall. he interviewed for a "real" job with them in december after he graduates. no word on that yet. probably they want to see how he does for them this summer, etc. I blog this because he hasn't.

oh, a baby calls.

love you all, especially all grandchildren. i need to get to madeira...i haven't seen them since november. bye bye

ok, carolyn, you asked for it

The baby is no longer jaundiced. she eats well , and the other end is now going well too. for a while, she didn't latch on, and didn't eat enough to pee. her sleepy time is late afternoon. she is cute. well, really. the lactation consultant was here for a second visit, and baby is 6# 7 oz, after a low last thursday of 6# 1.4 oz.

Kerry is not doing so well. she and braden are at the dr.'s office now, after numerous phone calls all weekend to the docs on call. I believe she has a hematoma. she is in much pain which narcotics and ibuprofen aren't masking. she is now running a fever, also, and hurts everywhere. and possible mastitis, too. i told her that her health was more important than the breastfeeding. she has been pumping for days since it is too painful to try to get J. to feed. Support for whatever decision she makes is appreciated. Poor kerry. it is so hard as a mother to see my daughter in such distress. and i have a hard time managing the mother vs. midwife role. i don't want to be taking over, but where exactly is the line?

but may i rant about residents?!? i am so angry about her delivery, and partly blame myself for the mother/midwife thing. I realize that students need to learn, after all, i was a student once myself. but if you are a third year resident, one would think you would know enough about deliveries to manage a 6-7 pound baby. perineal support is critical, esp. if you insist that she deliver in a position that is guaranteed to increase risk of tearing. So, her hands were there, but who can tell how much support was given until after, when it is obvious that you didn't do your job!!! I left her delivery shouting silently, "THIS is why i became a midwife!....THIS is why i became a midwife." I don't think i could ever work in labor and delivery again, where i am not in charge of the labor and delivery. my poor daughter is paying the price for being "poor", and not having the "correct" insurance that would let her choose quality care instead of whichever resident. whooooo, steam is rising from my head, i better quit this subject. but i must say that most midwives take state insurance.

by the way, if you want to call here, call my cell. i only turn it on when awake, and it won't wake anyone if they are sleeping (and i get it fast enough). that way, if they are awake, maybe you could talk. i won't be offended if the reason you call my cell is to talk to them. don't call their cells though...they never turn them off.

Musings

While i know that kerry's blog states "still no bebe", i must beg to differ. This house, apt, is all about one bebe. Funny, no one has been watching any dvd's lately...except maybe i watched some 24 episodes. Braden only got in one attempt at WII golf. these are all great differences. When the baby goes down, everyone goes down, except me, who insists on sleeping all night. After all, grandmothers must have some rights.

I TOLD them that having the baby in their room all the time would keep them up all night, and day, but now, they finally believe me. all those snorts and sighs and gasps that wake one up so that they must check the baby to see that she is still breathing, not choking, and all A-OK. It is am now, and i have baby duty in the living/dining room. hopefully there is sleepage in the bedroom. i also have je..... in front of the sliding doors, as we actually have a bit of sunshine today instead of rain, and she is a bit jaundiced.

I went to costco and, buying the cheapest, bought huggies wipes in the 800 or so wipes size. these were cheaper and also had a coupon which i didn't know about at the register. However, they have all these "soothing" herbal crap stuff in them. they could gag a maggot BEFORE you clean up the poopies. Braden said, yeah, and we'll be using this many for like a year or more. i just laughed, saying, no, not a year. funny how wipes get used, right madeira-ites??

I wish ryan would blog all his good news.

i bought myself a wedding ring for my birthday. Now i can find the old one. it was just a cheap one from target, but i wanted one for until i found the other.

love you'uns.

i know you are all reading with bated breath

It is hard when you don't have your own computer to blog with. oh, i can connect with mine on their network, but i then remember that i have no virus software, and it makes me nervous.

Well, i strained my back on sunday...no conference for me. we went to er which was not busy, thank goodness. got some great prescriptions which i am off now, but still have if i relapse when kerry is in labor. also, the relief society pres and her hub brought over a twin bed and frame, so now i am off the ground. i am convinced that that was a major contributing factor, trying to get up from the floor several times a night plus in the am. i thought i would bring one of their shelves down, but luckily, they are so loaded, they didn't tip over.

today kerry goes to the doctor. she was hoping to miss it. she had contractions last night about every 20-30 minutes, so i went to bed. (when in doubt, sleep). seriously, i figured at that rate she would need me about 5 or6 am and i thought i'd rest up till then. she went to bed, and despite having contractions all night about 5-7 min, slept through most of them. kevin told her she was overdue and racking up dollar a day fines. not too much this am, it is quarter to 2 now. i think she and braden will be walking alot this weekend. unless jenna gets with the program.

i am reminded how unpleasant it is to live in an apartment. hopefully, if dad and i have to downsize, it will still be a separate space from other noisy people. and noisy washers, dryers, dishwashers, and waterfall toilet flushes.

Hey, i love you guys. happy b-day dan pretty soon.

city of clouds and excitemet

probably everybody who cares knows that i am in olympia awaiting jenna. the trip was absolutely awful, but i am glad to be here and know that i won't miss the arrival. kerry does actually look pregnant, and i took pics, but don't know how to post them from braden's comp. kerry's apt is cute (and braden's) and much nicer than their old one. but houses are the bomb because they have space to put things, yeah.

love you all.

happy birthday scott!! big 5 yesterday

Joseph Finder, yeah!

I have been reading books by joseph finder. wow, someone who can keep me guessing until the end. i thought ryan, in particular, would like "the moscow club". Many of you have seen the movie "high crimes". well, this guy wrote the book it was based on with the same name. And even though i knew what was going to happen, it was different enough and well written enough that it didn't matter. Then came the ending, and ****it was different. still heart stopping, but different, and i won't spoil it by telling you. then i read "Paranoia". WOW! WOW!! read it. that's all. just read it. i am now reading the last one that was available in the library. still good, but i don't know enough to rave.

love you all.

This and That

I so enjoy reading everyone's blog. I do it everyday, i think. So, i thought i ought to get on my butt (as opposed to off) and write something for all those other people who wonder why they haven't seen anything new.

mostly that's because nothing much happens here. I have been in a bad flare (o' fibro) for most of february. who wants to hear about that?? no one.

we also had warmer weather yesterday...in the 50's. but there is still a lot of dirty snow that needs to be melted. Should be about the same today. it has been raining and gray so far, but the radio promises me that it will be sunny by afternoon and also tomorrow and again, 50's. so there is sooooooooooooooooome hope.

Tonight should be Kevin's last church dance. they let them slide, apparently, while they are still 18, but you know what tomorrow is. At least, chronologically, he will be 19. He says that he might try to sneak into the April tri-stake youth dance. we'll see.

Ryan should be in Portland by now. and then to seattle sometime this week where he will see kerry and braden and hopefully not jenna. I am getting way excited about going to seattle. I am really glad that Kerry asked me to come and help. Makes me feel useful.

I love my grandchildren, born and unborn!!! I really enjoy being a grandmother. I wish i could see them more frequently. I would like to be a part of their lives that they remember, and say, "boy, grandma is COOL" (as opposed to, "who?")! I am still trying to figure out how that will happen if everybody lives all spread out. dunno. still trying to figure it out. I wouldn't want anyone saying, "Oh, she loves X better than me", or "her OTHER grandchildren are more important". I am willing to move, but to where?? this is where dan chimes in, "madeira!" but then what about everyone else. maybe i should have just had one child....but then which ones would i give up? none. oh, and by the way, i can't move while my dad is alive...i need to be here to help if he needs it. But i can't imagine that that would be more than say 3 years. and my friends are here. should i trade friends for family?? and i also have a brother and sister here. ah, quit the rambling...i hear you all now.

in other news, i am trying to load up dad's mp3 player. i have one session of conference on there, but i have downloaded all of april and october last year to the comp. just need to move them over. I also have folders ready for this april's conference. i have learned what "rip" means and also "sync". hooray for kevin, i am glad he is still here to educate me. i will also be putting on scottish music and anne murray..partially ripped. i am not sure what else he wants. when i get that far, i will have to ask him.

long post about nothing. but we are still alive. now you know.

OBITUARY

It is with profound regret that we announce the passing of Sharp Carousel Microwave. Steadfast in duty and always there for us, we never realized how much we would miss her until she was gone. When reached for comment, Miss Amy of Cincinnati, OH, stated, "No more dooty dooty doot doot doot??". That's right, now you only hear, "beep......beep......beep". She (the microwave) was getting old, and harder to clean, and in some ways, it was a blessing for her. She leaves behind, David, Christy and Kevin.

She was 9 years old.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

This is out the front door. which i cannot get out of.



Kids would love it. i, however, can't get out of my garage. This is looking out the front window where there is a 4-5 ft drift. maybe dan could hide behind it and lob snowballs at the kid next door

The mailman will have a blast. wonder what it will look like after he tromps through

to gauge the drift vs. the swing

I tried to open the back door to get this shot. oh. can't get out that way either. Just to the right of the picture is the upended wheelbarrow with its wheels barely out of the snow. Dan??

Perfectionism

Yes, i am a recovering perfectionist. well, maybe not recovering. i have many years as a perfectionist, so take what i say with all authority. i am not making this up. last instance of perfectionism: Sunday, i had to tell the missionaries that they had written "olmstead" on their flyer. i did tell them that i had read it, and it was very nice, and i was sorry i was so anal (i didn't say anal to them), but to NEVER EVER EVER put an "a" in olmsted again.

Perfectionism is not all good nor all bad. it depends on the extent. for example, i can write a blog without capitalization, and it doesn't bother me. my house can get pretty messy before it must be cleaned up.

But there is a DARK SIDE to perfectionism, and i ain't kidding. sometimes Perfectionism keeps a person from trying new things, because, what if they aren't perfect on the first try. you know whom you are. sometimes, people paint a Perfectionist picture of what they could or should be, and when they turn out to be only human, they feel disgusted with themselves and shamed that others will discover that they aren't perfect. you still know whom you are.

can't we realize that we are all in a state of learning/education?? When Christ said, "Be ye therefore perfect even as I and my Father in Heaven are perfect", that he didn't mean we would achieve this Perfectionism in this life. we have to be on the path. we have to repent when we fall. we need to access the Atonement and claim its benefits for ourselves. and we have to keep trying.

Let's give ourselves a break. i feel such sorrow for people who can't admit their problems, or ask for help because the discovery that they aren't perfect is too much to admit to. (never end a sentence with a preposition). God loves us all.

If you are calling me on my cell phone....

don't. at least not for a while. it has been lost since last sunday, after i talked to dan but while i was waiting for kerry to call. i slipped it in the waistband of my pants, since i didn't have a belt loop. monday i discovered it was gone. since it has battery issues, by the time i called it, it was dead, so, no help finding it. if i do find it, i'll let you know.

home, home again

man, i am so excited to be home and sleeping in my own bed. not that lacey wasn't fun, but, wow, my bed. and my hubby. good to snuggle again. and kev, coming in to greet me with a big hug last night. well, here are the prego pictures (it's IN there!)


this is the sunday before i left.

this looks like it should be at the end, but it was near the beginning of the visit.

ahh, lazy sundays.

my next post will be about the kilted leaf rakers.

out here where the time is always wrong to call people

so, i came to seattle to see Kerry and braden last wednesday, and it is a wednesday again. i leave next wednesday, dec 13th to come back home. so, i have seen all my children within one month. pretty cool. i would just like to report on the facts: kerry is pregnant. i took pictures, but my hookup is at home, so you will have to wait another week to see that there is a bump where concavity once reigned. i can tell, although i can see why some people can't.

we are just hanging out, taking it slow. although that is also because we haven't a car to gallivant around in. I got my ticket here for free from capital one, but they wanted about $350 for renting a car for 2 weeks. nuts to that. especially because if we gallivanted, we would have to rest the next day, so we'd be paying for 2 days for every one that we used it. i am trying to go to seattle, well, bellvue, to go to the temple and to beehive clothing while i am here. hopefully friday.

love to all,
i miss you'uns and love ya too.
mom

yeah, well...

So, this has been a month of real surprises. on the 19th, we were in Cincinnati for joel's b-day and kennedy's blessing. very fun.

then we drove back, arriving exhausted and needing a bathroom badly on sunday night. there was a plate of muffins on the step to the kitchen with a note and a sign that said, "halt!! do not proceed further until you have eaten a muffin and read the note and do what it says." I said, nuts to that, i've got to go to the bathroom, and then i'll check it out. a few moments later, i came back. i wondered, well, the quists took kevin to church, presumably, and sr. quist likes to make muffins, so maybe they were from her. but why the note. maybe she was mad that we didn't talk to her directly about the ride, but we wanted kevin to take some responsibility.

so, we opened the note, and read a poem that i noted was in ryan's handwriting, but thought nothing of it, just that that was curious. it was about how we must miss our son, etc., and what a baker he was. i am at this point still clueless. the last part was that that dad and i must hold hands and chant, "muffin man, muffin man, come give me a hug!". then out jumps ryan from the living room (he had to hide when i went to the bathroom unexpectedly). I was soooo surprised. i did not GET it until that moment. how cool it was to see ryan, whom we had not seen since last march.

Swartwood reunion

So, everybody save the dates of June 16-23 or 4 for the great reunion. we found a house with 7 bedrooms for all grandchildren and great grandchildren and me and dad. check out www.vacationhomes.com/23547 the living room is small, but there is a large common area downstairs. also, one covered and one uncovered deck. the latter is very large, overlooking the lake. right below is a public beach that you can steeply get down to, or drive 3 minutes and park at. grandpa saw a park across the street from the house with slides, swings, etc., but no one else saw it. a block a way is a park with an old artillery piece, a gazebo, and lots of green space, good for games. if you follow the link, you'll see what city it is in for you google earthers. the # is 103 plum st.

please, please plan to come.

love,
mom

Whoa! Big changes.

We had a special meeting today for the North Olmsted, 7 hills, cleveland, lorain, and westlake ward, in the which they severely changed all the boundaries.

Our ward now consistes of North Olmsted, Westlake, Olmsted township and falls, and north ridgeville.

Westlake ward is no more...they imploded into us, avonlake went to lorain, rocky river bay and fairview park went to the new Lakewood ward.

Strongsville, berea, brookpark, middleburg hts broke off from north olmsted and went to the new strongsville ward. this also includes , north royalton, brecksville and broadview hts, which came from the defunct 7 hills ward.

7 hills also joined with the cleveland first ward, which consists of cleveland, parma, parma hts., brooklyn, brooklyn hts. and garfield heights, 7 hills, independence and valley view.

wow. next week, we meet as usual. in two weeks, we meet as new wards. this affects our bishopric (2 counselors), primary entire presidency, elder's quorum presidency, high priests' group leaders, young women presidency. should be interesting, but i know it is the right thing to do.

i'm alive, really I am

So, you see that i am here, even though i haven't posted. do you like the green color of my text?? i have been away visiting cincinnati, well, not so much the city as the wonderful people at ...i was going to type the address, but then i realized how stupid that was. my children and grandchildren. i was very excited to be asked to help, although amy saw through that right away and only said, "goodbye" and "goodbye, grandma" to me. scott and joel and kennedy and i had a good time. well, joel stopped liking me by saturday when he realized that if i was there, then mommy would maybe leave. on that day, every time he saw me, he ran away to find mommy to make sure she wasn't leaving. Scott made my day on saturday when he said, with no prompting, "I'm going to miss you, grandma!" yeah, baby, that's what i live for. it was cool to see a blessing work right away. David blessed me that i would not be in pain (although sometimes i needed drugs to achieve this) and to be able to serve as i desired. that was cool. then i got home, and immediately went into a flare, which i am still in. that systemic yeast stuff. i mean, imagine never having any sweets or grains (or fruits) ever again. that's what they say i have to do. can't do it, baby. i could probably cut down, but i can't completely give them up.




So, you can see that they really enjoyed me. well, to tell the truth, this is saturday, and joel had figured me out. plus it was naptime. and amy is far away from me, so she's ok.

Aren't they cute. someone has a nose issue, however.

and we are so cute together.

love, mom

randomocity

so, i see i haven't blogged in awhile, so i am starting, and hoping that something will come to me as i type.

My foot is doing well post-surgically. i see the dr for my 4 week checkup on friday. unless i spend humongous times on my feet, no probs. i have even driven with it.

I believe that I have my NANO theme ready to go. It involves something dear to my heart, though i will have to fictionalize it somewhat. This, for those who don't know is trying to write a novel in one month, november, i forget how many words. ryan knows all about it. i wasn't sure if i could do it, as i didn't have a theme that stuck. i would love to do a murder mystery, action thriller without sex, but i really don't know much about police procedure, fbi, seals, cia, etc., so i would only be going from all the gazillion books with this theme that i have read.

Dawn and I are going to check out a place on Marblehead for the reunion, after i call and see if it is available. it is www.greatrentals.com/OH/63o2.html hope the link works. i forgot to originally include the www, so if it doesn't work, put the www in.

kevin already hates mcdonalds, but we told him that he can't quit without another job in place. he is especially griping because this is his first week at real "full-time", and as they have him on nights, he misses a lot of activities. He says, "i'll never have any time off!" all those of you who work full-time know the adjustment it takes. i did tell him that education is the only way out of mindless, boring jobs that are awful. if you like what you do, at least it makes it more bearable to work full-time.

so, kerry is gone from today til the 28th, working 11+ hour days at a great translating opportunity, and something else to put on her resume. I ask you all to pray for her, for the fatigue factor of pregnancy will make it even more difficult. don't expect to hear from her or see her blog till probably october. braden, however, has all our permission to blog.

ah, dreams

the stuff of fantasy and weirdness..

so, i meant to blog sunday about my dream saturday night, but sundays there seems to be a mad rush to the comp, and i rarely get on.



i dreamed that the church called kerry on a mission. braden had to stay finishing school. but they called kerry as a missionary because they needed her special skillset. no one would do but her. then they called me as her companion, so that if she went into labor, i could deliver her (probably so the church wouldn't have a medical bill :-).



so, we walked around all the time missionarying. I don't know where we went on the mission. i assume it was spanish speaking. i remember that kerry was the senior comp.
the end.